He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
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He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
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Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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