i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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