At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
false alarm. still invincible.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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