sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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