i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
How does one acquire holy water?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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