haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
3 2 1 whiskey
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
