Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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