She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
