love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Randomize
