Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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