im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
