well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
you win again, gameday.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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