real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize