maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
