Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
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