Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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