My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
