is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
