Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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