I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
