Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize