one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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