Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
