so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
