Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
