Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
