Me too!
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
