I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
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