Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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