he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
