five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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