i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
