last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
