We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
