bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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