the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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