Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
