dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do vagina's smell?
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
