Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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