my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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