k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
