why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
