Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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