Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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