I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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