2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
