Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I will be naked everywhere
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
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