yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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