Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
