I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
