Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
