The maid of honor just puked.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
