whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
