Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
